Thank you for Bein' a Friend...

I just came home from dinner with two of my oldest friends... I hadn't seen either of them in months. Literally- they felt like they'd been shot back in a time machine to when I was preggers with Abby because I've only been showing my big belly in public for baseball games and work... I've been a hermit. The most wonderful thing about old friends- is the ability to not skip a beat... sure I've missed out on dozens of social events and the day-to-day of both of them- but after 10 minutes I was up to speed and so were they- and to me that is one of the best feelings in the world, it brings me out of isolation- if even just momentarily. It is these times that make me feel a little sad that I've missed so much but also so grateful that during that time- not much has changed.. and nothing has changed between us. Every now and then I come to the realization that I am in fact, getting older. I keep thinking of the time before I finally went back to college- every day I would walk to the gym and prepare myself for my introduction to my classmates, "My name is Amy, I'm 25, and I'm here because I want to help people..." There are times, often, when I'm stuck in my head, and I relive that little speech- only I have to remind myself that I'm now 30 years old. I don't feel like I should be "30" could be because I'm no further ahead than I was when I was 25 but I think there's more to it- plus I do believe that age really is just a number. I find that having Abby alone my schedule is very limited- but add in a work schedule that starts at 4pm when everyone gets off work and throw in the fact that I work every single weekend- my schedule is even more limited.. meeting my friends is not only logistically challenging- but I'm often exhausted (all that growing a human stuff) and there are times when I feel it's been so long that it's just too much "work" to try to catch up- especially when I only have 2 hours before I turn into a pumpkin... Then I go- and I realize how much I needed it.. and how good it makes me feel... and hope I can remember that feeling the next time I'm feeling so low that anything short of eating a brick of fudge feels like it isn't worth it- friends are more enjoyable and less likely to stick to my ass. I do love that with my schedule comes the benefit of the "new" (not so new!) friends- Mommas with babes the same age as Abby and the understanding that I don't have to explain to them why I want to rip my hair out at 830 am because they get it- yesterday they felt the same way- I enjoy the closeness of talking a few times a day about trivial things (but they don't seem trivial at all really to us- a potty poop is a big thing!) and I like knowing that someone will check in on me because they know at 830am I was about to snap- I love how the simple offers of a coffee play date or chat can instantly lift me- because to me they are not so simple. I recently said to Jay that I don't really have any friends outside my neighbourhood now- and that's just not true. I was being a pouty baby, bound by our brokeness, my work schedule, being a mom and growing a human- thinking about it now I am a very lucky person- because I've been able to form relationships that allow me to pick up where we left off- friends who have had beautiful children I've never met- I feel like I know those kids- and like because of the bond I have with their parent(s) I am bonded with them... I like to think I attract good people because I can be good people too- a little horn tooting here... friends I can call and cry into the phone after months of not talking- friends I can poke fun at because they remember that-time-that-we-did-that-thing, friends I can count on for unbiased honest advice- and friends I can count on for some nice sugar coating and reassurance- I have accepted that I'm no longer the social butterfly I once was- no longer the girl with the funny drunk face who danced the night away- I have other interests- other responsibilities that though not everyone understands- I think they see the importance of those things in my life- and at least try to understand.. tonight meant a lot to me.. being able to smile about the past- and accept that my future is now different- but be content that no matter what it looks like- somewhere out there I'll always have a friend...