Otis Enters the World

Written October 7, 2010

I've been trying to write Otis' birth story for about a week now- of course with an Abby and an Otis- there is little time for anything else... I am thankful for the people whohave writen and offered to help- I haven't replied just because I'm still trying to get grounded- trying to make it through the day without crying- which hasn't happened yet... I'm terrified to go through the depression I had after Abby- and that paranoia has made me uber aware of every feeling in my body- I'm scared. I am just trying to get into a routine- and then we will know what is a good time to visit- that being said, dinner is always welcome ;) My North Burnaby Mommas have been checking on me several times daily- and bringing us dinner-and making sure I know that I'm not crazy and things will be okay- I know it'sokay to be scared- but it's lonely and without my Mom, Jay and my Momma friends I would be lost- I am so grateful for you. As my due date approached I had mixed feelings about my pregnancy ending- I knew I would be sad to lose our secret relationship- the one that had been kicking my ribs and making me pee 7 times in a night- the one where rolls and waves were just between us- the one that made my belly firm and round and fun to rub- but I was so anxious to meet my little son that I wanted labour to start-- and then it started and I changed my mind... Around 430am on Wednesday September 29th I woke up what I refer to as "poo cramps". I kind of knew they were contractions, hoped they were- but then didn't want to get too excited... sure enough, every 10 minutes my belly would tighten and the pressure was on. They were short- and fairly painless- I think around 520am or so- 7 minutes apart I woke Jay up to tell him that I thought the baby was coming-- he fell back asleep almost instantly- and with all my might I fought the urge to elbow him in the face-- I woke him again 7 minutes later- he asked this time what he could do- and I stupidly said nothing! ha! I went over in my mind what we needed to do: my good friend Amy was the overnight person who would come down with her 6month old daughter if I went into labour in the middle of the night-- she also has a daughter the same age as Abby- so I kept thinking "just make it til 7am- then call" over and over again- even though I knew in my heart Amy would have come in a split second- but also a wave of sickness washed over me realizing that my last moments with just Abby were here-- I got into the shower and tried to wash away the contractions- now 5 minutes apart-- I had to bite my lips and lean on the wall and kind of walk my feet because now- they were definitely strong and definitely long... I got out of the shower about 620- I could hear Abby and Jay talking-- I went in- towel and nakedness and asked her if she wanted to go to Sadie's to play-- she was soooo excited! I asked for a snuggle because every morning we have a snuggle-- and she climbed in my lap and talked me through a contraction-- we talked a bit more about the baby coming- and my contractions were probably 3 minutes apart-- stronger each time-- so I went to walk the wall and lost my towel and Abby just laughed at me and said, "Mommy you're NE-KED!" Then she saw my face and kept asking if I was okay-- I explained Otis was trying to get out of my belly and it hurts! I had to leave the room to get dressed- panicking now because I realized we may have waited too long! I could hear Abby say to Jay, "my baby brubber's all done growin' now!" and I started to tear up... I paged my dr.,. she called back and I just TOLD her, "I'm coming- 3 mins apart, strong and long and I can't take it!" she is the best and just told me she'd see me soon! Abby's bag was packed and we got her into the car- after I yelled at Jay for being too slow- he was making coffee and if you know Jay you know that takes about 23 minutes- We got up to Amy's and she snagged Abby from the car- who was still so excited- I had called my friend Sarah who works at Children's to come and see us on her break.... I called my Mom earlier- and then again from the car- she was packing to leave her training for her new Social Worker job to come and be with me- I knew in my heart she wouldn't make thebirth and I cried a little-- Jay assured me we'd be fine- I wasn't so sure as we weaved in and out of construction and I already felt the urge to push with inklings of insane pressure-- he kept reminding me to breathe and passing me my water-- as my breathing was more of a hyperventilation! Pulling into the hospital and getting out of the car I caould barely walk-- I wish I could have walked through contractions- I heard it helps- but I was basically imobilized! Jay registered me and as I stodd to walk the wall through another raging tightening- a teeny little nurse grabbed and squeezed my hips/butt area so hard-- but oh man did it help! I don't know how someone so small had such strength! My dr. rounded the corner with a big smile and I was really excited for her to bring Otis into the world-- I was brought into anm assessment bed and a little nurse named Annabelle who was cute as sin started to talk to me-- and so did her medical student- a slight super young asian man who I think I scared the shit out of by yelling at him- I didn't mean to! Dr. Strydom checked me and I was at 7 cms dialated-- I told her I didn't want to feel this anymore and she called for the epidural- explaining that once my water broke- because I was so diapted and Otis was my second baby there wouldn't be time-- so it was ordered-- and she smiled saying she got me a good birthing room on the cedar ward- with a bathtub and lots of bright sun... I was wheeled up to my room by one nurse- in so much pain- scared that I would be doing this without drugs-- that nurse brought me to my birthing nurse Anita- who was so nice- but I couldn't tell her that because I was in so much pain- I stood with my bare bum hanging out for the sunshine to see- with my head on the bed going through contraction after contraction-- I asked about the epi- but with only one anesthesiologist on-- I had to wait- the good news being that I budged in line of other moms because of my progression being quick and this baby being number 2-- I started on the gas- which helped a little- but not enough-- I rested in between contractions- nearly falling asleep because they really took so much out of me-- I needed to lie on the bed-- and then it hit me like a tonne of bricks-- the urge to push. I started to scream in the middle of the contractions and Anita could tell something was happening- another nurse came in to see what was happening and wasn't impressed that I didn't have my epi yet- they called aagain... two more screamers and Anita said she needs to check me because I might need to get baby out-- I was hysterical- like a child, muttering, "nononononononono I can't I can't" I was 10 cms-- and I saw his feet enter the room- Anita explained she was checking me-- and I yelled at the anesthiologist, "no don't leave don't leave comeback come back!!" like a maniac-- as I saw his feet leave-- she asked again if I was sure about the epi and I said yes! So in he came and they acted quickly-- I had to huff gas and sit still- Jay helping to hold me-- he was very good- there but not to pushy- only spoke when I needed him too-- he was perfect-- Once the epi kicked in a wave of calm washed over me. I was ready to have my baby. I thanked the dr. a million times- but told him he shouldm't keep a woman waiting like that. Jay went to move the car- I texted my babycenter support mommas-- this group of women who have stayed together through message boards while trying to concieve after a miscarriage-- we've been together for nearly a year now- I didn't even join a birth club for support because I got all I needed from them-- and I knew that literally from all over the world I was getting love and support through my labour. Because of the epi I needed my BP and baby's HB checked often- Anita couldn't find Otis- she tried a different doppler- no go- she kept saying all is fine- but I could see her face- I stopped breathing... she called for a machine- my dr and another nurse-- after what seemed like forever and a day- they finally found him- so low down- he was ready too. Jay came back- with a parking ticket-- that has since been fixed by a certain nurse with certain connections! Dr. Strydom and an OBGYN named Dr. Mistery from India came in(as she has to retrain to work in Canada)-- a BCIT nursing student, Anitia and Jay-- All smiles- sun shining in- I was calm.. and ready. I got word from Amy that Abby was happy and all was well... I was ready. My water was broken with a big crochet hook- so weird-- and unlike with my epi with Abby I could feel the water break- I could feel just the edginess of each contraction- all the presure and just a second of pain- it was perfect- I could feel the urge to push strongly- but calmly... laying slightly sideways I grabbed my legs below the knees and started to push- with my cheering squad below and Jay by my head-- I could feel Otis moving- It was amazing. With Abby I felt nothing- numb- this was very different- getting a new "walking epidural" was great! After only 3 pushes Otis' hair was there! But there was also some meconium- just like his big sister he pooped- so a pediatrican was called in- she was nice too! Another couple of pushes and I could feel some real movement- like he was almost here- Jay said "I can see the head!" another push and I could feel a kind of "plop" which sounds gross- but that's the best way to describe it-- then I felt some serious pain! I said, "it hurts now" and they were all smiling- and I looked down and Otis' head and shoulder were out-- Anita put this needle in my leg to keep the contractions going strong (I think) so that I would get Otis' other shoulder out- but she left it hanging in my leg- everyone was giggling- I had no clue-- because Otis was on my chest-- no cries at first but after a few seconds of rubbing there it was! The pediatrician said he could stay with me and snuggle and she would check him in a minute-- unlike with Abby who wouldn't cry and needed to be taken away for a few minutes... Otis was perfect. Lots of hair- huge hands and a squshy nose... he cried and started to feel for me- grab my fingers and immediatley started to root for the breast- The dr handed Jay the scissors to cut the cord- and reminded him to "watch out for the penis!" Jay was gagging but did get the job done! The pediatrician came to take him for a few minutes- Odey got a 9 and a 9 on his apgars and the pediatrician told us he was perfect and handed him back to me... My dr and the obgyn delivered the placenta- what a weird feeling- I asked to see it and once they checked it out they showed Jay and I where Otis had been living! Crazy! Then... they dropped it on the floor! "Oh shit!" is all I heard my dr. say and then SPLAT! haha! Inursed Otis while they stitched me up= talking like a couple of old girlfriends about the stitching methods of Canada vs. India- I'm sure I have some kind of fancy hybrid stitch! Unfortunately they kept pushing on my uterus- which had stopped contracting causing a big of an issue with regards to my uterus not clotting right- I was given some oxytocin to keep it contracting to force the rest of the blood out- it was gross I'm not going to lie... I handed Otis to Jay who waited patiently for me to nurse Otis- and I spent some time with the nurse going over my bits and pieces--- good times.. Otis tried to root for Jay's nipple too. My Mom arrived shortly after Otis' 11:35am bday- she got to meet her first grandson- we talked to our friends and family- had a few visitors who stayed just long enough to meet Otis- recognizing the delicate time.. Jay left to pick up Abby- who brought Otis a little green puppy and a balloon-- the balloon which she took back of course- she held Otis and got to meet him exclaiming in her high pitched little voice, "he's soooo cute!". I cried- I cried less with Otis than with Abby- but I cried harder I think... My heart just overwhelmed with my family... This is long- and took me many breaks to write- Otis is waking up- Abby is going crazy- all of a sudden she is going on 13- and I hope it passes and I hope she loves me again- soon. She is a wonderful big sister but I think she sees me snuggling my little nonsleeper and feels a little scared herself- I'm trying my best to maintain a sense of normal for her- daily outings and activities- it's not easy- but loving both my kids the same is- now balancing my time is something I';m working on.. and likely will be for a long time... Eventually I will see Jay again soon too... he's patiently waiting for me- playing and loving our children while he does...