Birth Story... Tuesday, December 04, 2007

So I should be sleeping.. I so should! Especially after last night's adventures down screaming-baby-road... my poor tired little bean. My poor sore nipples! She's swinging away now in the world's loudest swing.. but she is peaceful for a second.. and now I can recant her coming into the world.. before I forget.Thursday Nov. 22:I wasn't feeling well all day.. just weird.. I thought it was because I ate raw cookie dough.. a pregnancy no-no.. Abby was very quiet in my tummy.. not her usual self... I had a feeling something might happen.. or maybe I was just nervous about being induced the following day. Anyway I went for dinner at Auntie Claire's as she was leaving for Europe on Saturday..I called the on-call dr. from Claire's about some concerns I was having.. the dr. assured me all was normal and baby and I were okay... Sara, Claire and I had a nice little dinner, geeked out on the internet and then I started to feel sick. My stomach hurt.. I decided to go home and see if I could..you know..poop. On the way home about 9:30pm, I noticed my cramps were comng regularly, about 7 minutes apart. I knew then I was finally having the contractions that everyone said I would know I was having when I had them! I called Jay to let him know, he wasn't phased at all.. probably thought I was being crazy again. By the time I got home they were slightly closer. I got Jay to finish tidying the house. They really started to hurt.. I can't describe the feeling really.. like menstrual cramps in the middle.. but worse! Jay started to time how far apart the contractions were.. getting closer.. only about 3 minutes apart now.. sometimes closer but still fairly short. I decided to have a shower. I shouted from the shower at each contraction.. the heat made me feel a bit better.. I shaved my legs! I called the dr. at about 10:15.. she told me to try to labour at home for a while as women tend to dialate faster at home rather then under flourescent lights in backless gowns. We tried to watch tv.. Jay tried to rub my back.. I commanded that he not touch me! I got into bed.. but the pain was too much.. I toughed it out for an hour and then called the dr. back.. explaining that I totally suck at being in labour and I needed to go to the hospital.. she told me she'd call them to let them know I was coming.We packed our stuff in the car.. or really.. Jay did it all. All I wanted to do was puke from the pain but I couldn't! The contractions were still very close together and stronger.. I called my Mom.. and Sara.. who notified the other supports Claire and Natalie.. Nov. 23rd: We got to the hospital at about 12:30am.. filled out the paper work and I moaned and yelled.. other ladies sat silently through their contractions and I felt like such a wuss... it wasn't until about 1:30 or 2:00 that the bitchy admin nurse checked my cervix.. I told her that she couldn't send me home.. it hurt too bad. My friends sat in silence in the waiting room.. I felt like a maniac.. I felt like I wasn't in my own body. I kept trying to get sick but I couldn't.. and I would go to the bathroom to pee.. but it was a pathetic trickle.. I think it was a relief to have a contraction on the toilet for some reason.. either that or I just really liked hangin in the bathroom! My cervix was dialated to 5cm! Yay! I was a llowed to stay.. I was told it would be about 10 minutes for a room.. I didn't get that room until about 3am... previous to that I was begging for my epidural... so much for waiting it out! The nurse spoke with the dr. who encouraged me to try the gas so I would dialate quicker.. I fell for it... at 3am we got into the delivery room.. it was nice, dimly lit and pretty spacious. My friends and mom lined up against the wall.. I was given an IV and hooked up to the fetal monitor.. this would be some of the last times I got to listen to Abby's heartbeat from the outside. I was scared that she was coming out! Jay held the gas hose for me so I could use it to breathe through my contractions.. which at this point were very strong and very painful. My nurse.. Ev. was amazing.. she taught the girls how to rub my back.. Sara rescued my massager out of the car... Jay talked me through the contractions.. my Mom reminded Jay to hold the gas to my face.. I guess the gas took the "edge" off.. but it still hurt. I was going to try to shower again.. but I couldn't stand... I started to find myself a little more hilarious with the gas.. I think I even told a few jokes... apparently I told Claire as she massaged my back through a contraction that I liked to be rubbed deep, hard and slow.. a like I'm pretty sure got me into this whole pregnancy situation!The ladies got themselves and Jay some food.. I was once again begging for my epidural. I met my dr... (I go to a maternity practice so it was the luck of the draw.. my actual dr. was to be on-call at 6pm this night!) I thought at first she was a nurse.. she looked so young.. she looked so kind.. and she was absolutely amazing. I couldn't have asked for anyone better.. Because of my high BP blood was taken to prepare for my epidural.. to make sure it was okay.. at this point the dr. checked my cervix.. I was 8-9cm dialated! I was congratulated.. and told that she could break my water and I could have the baby within the hour.. I apologized and told her i needed some relief.. they called the anesthesiologist (I don't care to spell that correctly). It took her a while to come.. and I must have asked 6 million times when my epidural was coming.. I annoyed myself! She finally showed up around 5amish... I was trying to pee and she just came right in to talk to me.. she asked me 12 times how tall I was.. I told her 5'6".. now when she administered the medicine I remember her saying, "well she's a tall girl.. she's 5'7""! I was amazed.. but I didn't correct her because I remember thinking that I'd get more medicine! It took a while for the bloodwork to come back and to be okayed.. finally at about 6:30am my epidural was working. Sweet relief! I could feel pressure of contractions but no pain. It was nice. Jay was falling asleep on his chair.. the nurse kicked everyone out so I would sleep and rest up to push... I couldn't sleep of course. I just laid there and listened to Abby's heartbeat and tried to calm myself.. for I was about to be a mother. At around 9am.. everyone came back.. we woke Jay up. I started to push at 9:30am... my contractions still strong and close together. At this point I had a new nurse.. I think her name was Jenny.. she was nice. My dr. stayed for long periods of time as well.. and I really liked that.. she was so nice. at around 11:00am I started to make real progress.. we could see her hair as I pushed her down. The anestheisiologist checked in.. an OBGYN checked in.. Abby had pooped! they said it was okay to keep pushing so I did... her hair was poking through.. I tried 3 or 4 different positions (all of them shameless) and decided that I liked the have my legs held while I arched my bum kind ofa downwards up and pushed.. my friends all took turns holding my gams.. Jay took turns.. my mom rubbed my hair.. Finally at about 12:30 the OBGYN was called in.. Abby's heartrate was slowing then speeding then really slowing.. she was getting tired. I was told that a pedatrician would examine abby before I got to hold her because of the poop.. I started to get scared.. the OBGYN told me they would have to get me prepped for surgery.. because they were going to use forceps to get her out. I started to ball my eyes out.. because it got worse.. if they couldn't grip her with the forceps they would do a c-section.. BUT I JUST DID ALL THIS WORK! I begged the dr. not to dent Abby's head and she assured me she wouldn't. i had my dr. the nurse, my mom, jay, all holding my hands and rubbing my legs.. I was so scared. I was whisked away almost immediately.. I remember my Mom starting to tear up.. Jay was taken to get dressed.. my friends who had endured so much to see a live birth were getting ripped off at the last second. I was brought into the OR and given a mondo epidural.. in case I needed the c-section... There were people everywher telling me who they were and what they were doing.. I just wanted Jay.. he was finnally ready and strolled in.. scrubs and mask.. and sat down beside me and said, "hello mrs. Mazzone". Anyway, I couldn't feel anything.. the nurse told me she would tell me when I was contracting, the oBGYN would tell me when to push.. and my dr. encouraged.. well.. two contractions later.. and about 8 pushes (which I so couldn't tell if I was pushing right.. but I was I guess) Abby was out in the world at 1:29pm.. weighing 6 lbs 15 oz and measuring 19 3/4 inches. She wasn't crying, but that was good because they needed to clear the poop from her.. Jay got to cut the cord.. a few moments later she was being put on my chest. I cried and cried.. she cried.. it was the best moment of my whole life. I'm crying now remembering. She looked perfect. Her head was round.. no dents. her fingers and toes so long and skinny.. just everything about her. The dr. took pictures of Jay and I and Abby.. my little famliy...I will spare you the other details.. as this is long.. I had a 2nd degree tear.. I can't tell... I was told by all the nurses who insist on checking your flow every hour that everything looked good and pink.. weird heY? I didn't care who saw my bum anymore.. I just wanted to hold my baby. I started to breastfeed right in the recovery room.. and Abby's been doing pretty good at it since.. sometimes she gets a little excited though.. I mean who wouldn't right? Jay hasbeen an amazing Dad.. and my rock.. He's so supportive and helpful to me.. I'm going through a bit of the blues now... Abby is great and I feel like I'm doing her well.. myself on the other hand.. I feel sad.. a little empty.. like there's something standing in the way of feeling how happy I know I can feel.. there's a bit of sad in my heart.. really I'm sure it's lack of hormones in my body and I think it will pass with a little help. I feel a bit socially retarded now because all I can do is look at my perfect baby.. I don't know what to say to people sometimes.. I went into the hospital one person.. and left two people.. left not knowing much about my new identity as a Mom. Its like puberty all over again, but with bigger boobs. I know that I love my husband with all my heart and I love Abby the same.. I wouldn't trade my new life for the world.. but I wouldn't mind some inside information on how to adjust!I love getting notes ffrom you all, words of congrats and encouragement.. it reminds me that I still do have a life outside these four walls, breastfeeding pillows, dirty diapers and sleepless nights... I know they are worth it for my little teeny bean... but hearing other grown ups words remind me that I am still human, which sometimes through the delierium it's hard to tell. So thank you everyone for reading.. and for being there.. if even just in the world of Facebook.