Prognosis: Negative

So, I ordered ovulation test strips online after the miscarriage- I am bound and determind not to "waste any time" and after reading and reading and reading about how "hard" it is to actually get pregnant- even though both times it happened our first "try" (or month of trying). With those test strips I opted to add some pregnancy tests, because let's face it, those puppies are NOT cheap...

When I went for my 2 week check up on Monday my Dr. told me that if I did a pregnancy test it would turn up positive because of hcG hormone still being in my body- I asked for one at the office because let's face it, those puppies aren't cheap ;) So when she said that.. I felt silly and stupid for peeing on ovulation sticks thinking my body my release an egg soon- but tonight, on a whim, while reading the instructions for all my new pee sticks, which I already know how to work- I tested.. and it came out negative. Only one pink line...

Now, this should make me happy- there are no "products of conception" left tricking my body into thinking it's pregnant still- I will most likely get a period (at some freaking point) and then ovulate etc. and we can do it- make the something- make a baby... but for some reason that one pink line made me cry. I don't know why- I can't explain it.. because this is a case where negative is good; it means my body is moving on etc.. I have been feeling better, able to function and not cry every 4 minutes.. but still.. that one pink line really fucked with me.

I am a patient person- when it comes to almost everyone else- sometimes with Ab I do need a few sips of coffee before I'm able to entertain the 2 year old whinies- but for the most part I can wait, and reinstruct and redirect all day if I have to- but when it comes to being patient with myself-- I find it nearly impossible. It's funny- I have NO control over when those hormones enter or leave my body- yet I can't wait for them to get here- or in the case of PMS I can't wait for them to leave. Funny isn't it? Control freak much- so much for that whole "letting go" thing hey??

Anyway, I will continue to test for ovulation- as with the various dr's statistics on miscarriage and loss- there are numerous suggestions for when a woman should ovulate after a d&c- the majority of my sources seem to say around 2-3 weeks- well.. we are at 2.5 weeks.. so I'm ready for either a surge and some hot baby makin' sex.. or a period and some chocolate. Just give me something to move past that one pink line.